PENDING APPLICATION – HR DESK

Funny Dating Application

Position Applied For: funny|Department: Relationships

APPLICATIONS OPEN

Welcome to the matchmaker’s comedy desk. Tell us how you handle real life, date planning, and the last excellent French fry. The committee values honest answers, excellent stories, and applicants who do not call “wyd” a complete relationship plan.

18+ only. Answer honestly. Humor is encouraged; deception is not particularly helpful to either department.

START HERE · REQUIRED

Applicant name or nickname * Please enter a name or nickname before submitting.

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Want to know what HR decides? Leave an email and you can be notified when your application is stamped.

Email for status updates (optional) Notify me when my application status changes.

SECTION 1

Candidate Information

Age recommended

Choose an exact age or 18+ if you prefer not to share your age.

Where are you from? (city/state or general area is plenty) recommended

Current relationship status recommended

Do you have children? recommended

No Yes Prefer to discuss privately

Pets / animals in your life? recommended

What do you do for work—or what fills your days right now?

Tobacco use recommended

Yes — smoke Yes — vape No

Drug use recommended

Yes Occasionally 420 friendly No

Alcohol use recommended

Daily Occasionally Socially Rarely No

SECTION 2

How to Reach Me

How would you prefer the person you’re applying to contact you? recommended

Text message Phone call Email Instagram DM Facebook Messenger Snapchat WhatsApp Other

Best contact information for that method recommended

Best time to contact you

Anytime Morning Afternoon Evening Weekdays Weekends No preference

SECTION 3

The Opening Statement

What are you hoping to find here: a real connection, a good date, or someone who also thinks 'what should we eat?' is a legally binding question? recommended

A committed relationship with communication and mutual respect Dating with intention and room to see where it goes Something casual, stated clearly and kindly Still figuring it out; I brought honesty and snacks

Your ideal first date is… recommended

Coffee or tea and a conversation that forgets to check the time A meal somewhere we can hear each other and the fries A walk, an activity, and a respectable escape route if it rains A thoughtful surprise—with at least one clue about the dress code

SECTION 4

The Vibe Check

Your social battery at the end of a busy week is… recommended

Fully charged; I know three places we could go Good for the right people and one excellent plan Half-full; let's balance company with couch time Low-power mode; please send a kind text and a snack

A free day appears on your calendar like a rare wildlife sighting. What do you do? recommended

Choose up to 2.

Explore somewhere new Stay cozy and recharge Make something or get absorbed in a hobby See friends or family A little of everything, followed by a well-earned snack

A pretty typical weekend for you includes… recommended

Rest and home time One or two plans, then recharge Friends, family, or a lively calendar A hobby or project I get absorbed in A mix that changes week to week

Choose up to two: what makes a meal or snack a win for you?

Choose up to 2.

Comfort food Trying a new place or cuisine Home-cooked meals Coffee, dessert, or a little treat Simple and fresh I am easy—just tell me when it is ready

You see a message during a chaotic day. Your honest move is… recommended

Send a quick 'swamped, but I'll reply later' Reply when I have a proper moment Get distracted, then return with an apology and context My phone and I are negotiating better habits

What can you happily talk about for 20 minutes before remembering this was meant to be a short answer?

How do you naturally show someone you care? (Choose up to two.)

Choose up to 2.

Say the kind thing out loud Make time Give a hug Remember the small details Help with something practical Bring a snack Send the 'made it home?' text

SECTION 5

The Department of Logistics

A surprise bill appears. Your household-management instinct is… recommended

Check the budget and make a plan Handle it, then update the other person Talk it through together Feel briefly betrayed by the envelope, then deal with it

A healthy amount of together-time and solo-time looks like… recommended

Lots of togetherness, with room for our own interests A good balance that we can talk about Pretty independent, and intentional about dates Depends on the week; let's check in

Date night needs a plan. What is your contribution to civilization? recommended

Pick the time and place, then make the reservation Offer a few genuinely good options Ask what sounds fun, then handle the details Plan it together; two opinions are an asset Bring snacks while we bravely decide

A flat-pack shelf arrives with 43 pieces and one mysterious extra screw. You… recommended

Read the instructions before declaring war Sort the pieces and make a calm plan Start confidently and learn what the dowels are Keep morale high and order dinner Call the extra screw a future problem

SECTION 6

Extremely Important Research

There is one last shared fry. State your policy for the record. recommended

Ask if anyone wants it Split it with ceremonial fairness Offer it to my date; quietly hope they say no It was on my side of the table, Your Honor

A disagreement appears without an appointment. What helps you get back on the same team? recommended

Listen first, then talk about the actual issue Take a short pause and agree when to return Say what I meant, then make space for the impact Apologize when I am wrong; no footnotes I am practicing this, with mixed results and sincere effort

Your person has had a day with enough plot twists for a limited series. Your first move is… recommended

Ask: comfort, solutions, distraction, or space? Bring food and listen Take one task off their plate Make them laugh, then check whether they want to talk Give them room and follow up later

SECTION 7

The Final Pitch

Name one green flag you bring to a relationship. Evidence may include follow-through, kindness, or returning the good container. recommended

What is one tiny relationship habit you are working on? The committee appreciates self-awareness and realistic timelines.

What does a really good ordinary evening look like for you? The committee accepts pajamas as formal attire.

What is something you are looking forward to lately? Tiny joys absolutely count.

Final pitch: why should the matchmaker advance your file? Keep it charming, honest, and under the length of a director's cut. recommended

SECTION 8

Self Evaluation

Rate yourself honestly. HR will compare notes 😂

Rate your cooking skills. The matchmaker accepts humble honesty and would like to know whether to bring a casserole or a fire extinguisher. recommended

Rate your communication. The committee values a clear text and a well-timed 'I need a minute.' recommended

Rate your listening skills. How often do you remember the story after the snack arrives? recommended

Rate your follow-through. Your calendar may be called to the witness stand. recommended

Rate the effort you bring to dating and relationships. Small, steady gestures count. recommended

SECTION 9

The Matchmaker's Comedy Desk

Write the one-sentence review your best friend would leave after watching you date. Honest, affectionate, and legally safe, please. recommended

I confirm I am at least 18 years old.

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